May 13, 2011

Stinky, Stinky, Stinky

About two weeks ago, the kids and I were headed to a friend's house for a photography session. I had felt a tad queasy all morning, but that's nothing too unusual. As we pulled up to a railroad crossing, a train starting coming our direction with it's steam blowing. Big E was in the middle row, so excited he was literally shaking the car. I knew it was coming and I just didn't know where to put it. I searched high and low for a plastic bag. There's usually a ton of them lying around - when I don't need them. Under the third row seat, I saw a paper sack, and with all the voice I could muster, asked the kids to hand me the left over Easter bag. It soon held the eggs I'd had for breakfast instead of the pretty kind.

Meanwhile, the train was still rumbling by and we were surrounded by other vehicles. I just kept chugging along, too. When the train had finally passed, I knew I had just moments to dispose of this bag before it completely disintegrated. I pulled over and hid it in the woods. My pants were drenched, and I figured my friend would prefer that I not show up in this state. So, back home we went. I cleaned up and changed. I had spent all morning ironing clothes, combing hair, and by golly we were going to get those pictures taken.

We were over at her house for about 30 minutes when my episode continued. Homeward bound . We did get the pictures (which I will post at a later date).

All this just so you could understand today's predicament. We got in the car this morning and it REEKED!!! Let me say that again. It R-E-E-K-E-D!!! The funny thing is that we had just spent 6 hours in it the day prior and no one noticed anything. Think curdled milk x 1,000. We were on the way to school with the windows down flying down the freeway. It still stunk. All I could imagine was that the previous experience must have some how reached it's ultimate st inkiness. I couldn't even drive it to pick up the kids. I preferred to cram us all in the truck instead.

I finally got a chance to clean it out tonight. I Febrezzed, steam cleaned, and Llysoled until my head started feeling funny from all those fumes. Something kept telling me to keep looking - just to be sure. I lifted each seat. When I lifted Big E's, I almost died. No, I think I did for a moment. Lying under his seat was the nastiest, most rottenest, horrible smelling tomato I had ever seen. I started thinking about when the last time I had bought a tomato at the grocery store and I knew it had been a few weeks. Where did this thing come from??

That's when Eric invited the kids to come out and see the object of odor. Pods said, "Hey, that's the tomato Memaw gave to Big E." I'm sure she was joking and said, "Hey, you want this tomato?" thinking it would gross him out. Big E was probably excited to get something. And I almost died as a result of this incident. Rotten tomato!